5 tips for a perfect marriage proposal… but no guarantees!
With Valentine’s day less than a month away I thought some proposal tips and ideas would be in order. So welcome to the first week in my new Proposal Series! I haven’t decided how long it will go for… but this is decidedly week 1 so we’ll just go with that for now!
I know there are 2 camps of people: 1) Those who love VDay and think it’s super romantic; 2) Those who hate VDay and think it’s the worst and most artificial “holiday” ever! I am personally somewhere in between. For the past 9 years I have taken over planning (and paying for) Valentine’s Day because our anniversary is one week later. I figure since I have high expectations of my boyfriend on that day, if I expect anything for VDay I had better do it myself! And I’m totally cool with that – I just see it as another opportunity to do something fun together. But for those of you firmly in Camp 2, the timing of this Proposal Series might not be ideal. However, these ideas and tips can be used all year ’round!
This week I’ll focus on some general tips to make your proposal perfect! Please note that I’m not telling you she’ll say “no” if the proposal doesn’t go off exactly as planned. If that happens, your partner probably wasn’t right for you anyways. Nor am I guaranteeing if you follow these tips she’ll say “yes”. Now that I’ve got those disclaimers out of the way…
Tip 1 (most important): know your partner well enough to have an idea of what she would want!
I know this seems obvious, but we’ve all seen those YouTube videos of would-be grooms proposing to their unsuspecting girlfriends with disastrous results. This tip is two-fold: 1) if you don’t know your partner, it might not be the time to propose (I am of course saying this generally and don’t want to make a blanket statement… Nicole Kidman is apparently quite happy to get married without knowing her partner well first! [Disclaimer 2: this is not a dig, she said this in an interview!]); 2) If you don’t know her well enough to know if she wants a public or private proposal, make sure you figure that out before proposing!
Now, I would never tell you to ruin a surprise by asking what the surprisee would want. But you can be sneaky about it. Tell your girlfriend a story you “heard” where a groom proposed at a hockey game, or at a party. Her reaction will be telling.
Tip 2: Plan the proposal around what your lady would want!
If she hates skiing, don’t drag her up on the ski hill and propose at the top. If she wants a super romantic proposal, don’t ask her to marry you on your way home from the gym. I hate to say it, but when you’re doing the proposing, your desires don’t really factor in (this goes for women who propose as well!). You don’t need to worry about personal enjoyment of the set-up, just the answer.
Tip 3: Put thought into your proposal plan
Spontaneity is great of course, and if it’s truly the right moment, and your partner would also think it’s the right moment, then go for it! But most women (the ones I know at least) would not be terribly impressed if their boyfriend asked them the Big Question while sitting at home in their pyjamas watching Battlestar Galactica (full disclosure, this is currently the show I’m watching and it was the first one that came to mind). You might notice a running theme to my articles, but here it is again: planning these kinds of things in advance is an amazing way of showing your partner that you care enough to do so! Even if all of your plans fall down around you, it will still be obvious that you tried to make it perfect, which is worth something!
Tip 4: If you can’t afford to go big (or think it’s ridiculous to spend a lot of money on a proposal) then don’t just go home… figuratively
Your proposal (or any event really) doesn’t have to be expensive to be amazing. I usually find that lack of funds can be overcome by creativity and forethought. Check out Pinterest for ideas, shop at the dollar store for decorations, learn how to make origami roses, if she speaks a different language learn enough of it to ask her to marry you… etc! You’re only limited by your imagination. I’m not saying creativity isn’t important when you have a large budget, but it certainly can be less so than if you’ve got a small one.
Tip 5: Tell people on a need to know basis
A lot of would-be-grooms tell their family members what’s about to go down, or a few key friends. If you need the support go for it. Just try to make sure the people you tell are not going to spill the beans! There will be nothing more disappointing (for both of you) than a family member letting it slip in front of your girlfriend. Most importantly, don’t give anything away on Facebook (or Twitter, Instagram… you get the idea). If you’re going to tell people, do it over the phone or in person.
Also consider the people that do need to know. The restaurant you’re proposing at, the staff at the Aquarium if that’s your chosen location, etc. These people will be your best resources, because they will be excited to have a proposal at their establishment. Who doesn’t love a good proposal right? Most of the time they will go out of their way to make it go off without a hitch. So go ahead and tell the people that truly need to know, and those that you need to know for moral support, but keep it at that!
If you’re planning on making next Valentine’s Day a (very) special one, I hope you appreciated my tips for a perfect marriage proposal. Again, these tips aren’t exclusive to VDay and I woudl be happy to help you anytime of the year! Repeat of important disclaimer: I do not guarantee the outcome of any proposal, though I do wish you all luck!
Normally I would ask you to comment if you’re planning to do the thing I talked about in my post, but today I won’t. How about, please comment if you’ve proposed or been proposed to and it either was amazing or not… or if you’re hoping for something specific and want to put it out into the Universe. Pretty broad I know! Thanks to everyone for reading, and as always you can connect with me on social media on Facebook, Twitter, Linked In, Google+, Pinterest and Instagram!
If you’re wanting to propose or just do something awesome for Valentine’s Day 2016 and would like some help, contact me today!